Of Sociopaths and Righteous Men
by Marcus Sylenus
Summary: Christmas in July challenge - Logan and Alec have a talk...Rated M for language and adult themes. NOT SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

**This story is for Annie for the **_**Christmas in July Challenge**_**.**

Annie's wish list:

1) Sympathetic conversation with Alec and Logan where one or the other or both of them opens up about something serious. They can joke about it

2) A little bit of soul-baring of some kind, Max or non-Max related.

Annie didn't want:

1) No snake cult.

Disclaimer: Cameron owns them, I'm just playing with their minds a bit.

Set between Fuhgeddaboudit and Hello, Goodbye.

**AN: This was a little shorter than I initially had planned, but the ending felt just right as it is now. Hope you like it! **

**Huge thanks to Mari for feedback and much-needed hand holding.**

**Of Sociopaths and Righteous Men**

_LOGAN: I'm Logan. Nice to meet you._

_MIA: Logan, I think there's something that Alec wants to say to you. *_

_ALEC: Yeah, Logan, I just...wanted to say that I understand why Max admires you so much. Sometimes I wish I had more of a purpose in life._

_MIA*: Logan, is there something you want to say to Alec?_

_LOGAN: Well, it's just that...I don't know, sometimes I wish I was more of a free spirit, and...it must be nice to be a happy-go-lucky sociopath. Kinda envy you._

_*********************_

**Chapter One**

Logan sat in front of his computer, gaze lost as he scrolled aimlessly through the many Manticore files he had been able to recover since the facility had burned down. His mind, however, was elsewhere, focused on a certain brunette transgenic.

The last months had seen one lead after another come to nothing as he searched for a cure for the virus. He had started to despair; he might not have given up, but the delay and endless setbacks had taken a heavy toll on Max's hopes. He knew that he would succeed, he would never give up, even if it took him years. He had had a taste of life without her, and he had vowed to never again let himself be separated from the woman he loved to the exclusion of everything else. That included despair, of course. But he'd had many relationships before, from the casual flings to an ill-fated three year marriage. He knew that what he shared with Max was true love, everlasting, overpowering...but she never had anything like that before. Nothing to compare it with. And he feared that she would give up before they could give it a real chance. Max loved him, yes, but the intensity of those feelings also scared her. He feared that she would run from those feelings if he took too long to cure the virus...

He felt a presence behind him. For a moment he was ecstatic, giddy with joy at seeing Max. It had been months since she had just dropped by to chat, and he missed her terribly: they had seen each other at crash, and she had helped him with several Eyes Only missions, but she was always fidgety and anxious to leave, to avoid making a mistake that could cost him his life. But then, instead of smelling the scent of cherry, leather and well,_ Max_, his visitor reeked of musk, beer and smoke. The cat-like, almost silent steps were also heavier....

"Hello Alec. What can I do for you?"

The figure behind him stilled, and with an amused chuckle Alec came into view.

"Quite an ear you have, buddy. Or were you just guessing?"

"Let's just say that after almost two years of transgenics coming through like they own the place have honed my spider-sense."

"What?"

"Never mind."

Logan stood from his chair, relishing the fact that he was still wearing the exo. It felt good to walk tall. And a small part of him also reveled on being taller than Alec. Childish and petty, yes, but he was big enough to admit it. To himself, at least. Knowing that the chances of getting a straight answer from his 'guest' were slim at best, he decided that he might as well ply him with booze and food to loosen him up. He had skipped dinner...and lunch, as he had grown accustomed to cook for two, or four really. He motioned to Alec to follow and walked to the kitchen.

"Care to join me for dinner? I was going to make chicken for lunch, but I got sidetracked. Everything is ready, should be done in half an hour."

Alec looked at him with an odd expression, face tilted slightly to the side, as if weighing his words for some obscure meaning. A moment later it was gone, and he gave Logan his usual smirk.

"Sure. But I hope you have something strong to drink. I'm not really into wine, like some people."

"Yeah. There's a bottle of 18-year old Glenffidich in the cabinet. Might as well open it, I'm not a big fan of drinking alone."

Once Logan had put the finishing touches on the dish and put it into the oven both men lounged around the kitchen, nursing glasses of single malt. The room felt stuffy, tense. So did the conversation, drifting between inane comments about the weather and the usual complaints about Normal. The highpoint was Logan scolding Alec for trying to put ice on his glass. After a short but heated argument on the etiquette for drinking single malt - straight, no ice! - they settled back into a heavy silence, staring into their glasses. After a while, Logan decided to change tactics.

"So when are you going to tell me what's on your mind? Why did you come? Not that mind the company, but-" he was cut short by Alec's amused snort. "-but you never come by unless you need something. I don't mind that, either-" another snort, this one turned into a few chuckles. "-any friend of Max is always welcome, even happy-go-lucky sociopaths."

Alec's face fell a little at that. It was just a flash, but Logan had spent too many days watching Max to miss it.

'_Ah, so it's about Mia..._'

Alec stared into his drink a while longer, before looking up to him. Logan sensed the conflict on the younger man; he wanted to ask something, he just didn't know how.

"Just ask, Alec."

"It's just...I was thinking about what you said when Mia played with our minds..."

"Yes?"

"Is that all? All that you see? Am I just a sociopath to you?"

Logan sighed. He was afraid of this. After his revelation that day he had tried to put it behind, to forget it. But Alec's words had shaken him. Alec always referred to his work as Eyes Only as an obsession, ridiculed it as much as his relationship with Max. And then said he wished he had a purpose in life. Logan had never given the young transgenic much thought, beyond what Max had to say about him. Sure, Logan was still a little sore about Alec trying to kill him, and in the dark of night he allowed himself to hate Alec for screwing up his chances to get the cure. But Logan had to admit that even though he would do almost anything to get the cure, he wouldn't kill; not even Alec. Had he been there with Max, he would have made the same choice.

Despite that, he still didn't trust Alec, not really. Max didn't, and he took his cue from her; the only thing Logan knew about transgenic behavior was from his relationship with Max and her siblings, and that was far from the norm.

He realized he knew very little about X5-494, beyond what he chose to show him. And compared to him, Max was gushing with feelings.

"Look Alec...I don't really know you. I know you tried to kill me. I know that you let Max infect me. And I know that you fucked up and got caught by White, and that cost me my only chance so far to be with her. So all I see is a man that would happily kill me, or Joshua, or Max, if it's convenient for you."

"Convenient! That's what you think, that it was just _convenient_ for me? What the fuck do you know about it? Do you have any idea what I went through? What it was like at Manticore?"

"I don't know as much as I'd like. But I do know what happened there. I've read the reports. I've seen training videos. I've talked with Max about it. And while I can hardly comprehend what all of you endured, I do understand more than you think. But you're not in Manticore anymore, Alec. You can't use all the fucked up things they did to you to excuse your behavior. Everything you do outside, it's on you."

Alec stared at him with a disbelieving expression, a mixture of astonishment and anger that gave him a slightly deranged air. Logan forced himself to remain still, knowing somehow that startling Alec would be a bad idea. Finally Alec broke his stare, relaxed and turned away from him.

"You don't know shit."

Putting down his glass, Alec left without another word.

_*********************_

4


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Read chapter One.

**Chapter Two**

It was five days before Logan saw him again. He had been troubled by their conversation, and not a little bit ashamed by his words. While everything he had said was true, he had been brunt and harsh; he'd been more polite with Bruno Anselmo! He had mulled over his animosity towards the younger man, and had not liked what he found there. He had good reasons not to trust him, not to like him, but since the incident with the cure he had not given him any cause to suspect him of being anything other than a man trying to find his way in a world he didn't fully understand, a world that wanted him dead. Max, however, had a _lot_ to say about Alec, and it was her opinions that colored his.

With this in mind, he had tried to look past the anger and contempt Max felt for Alec, and form his own opinion of the man. He had gone to Crash every night, trying to get to know Alec, see him with his friends, see the same side of him as the rest of the world did.

But Alec didn't show up that first night, or the next, or the one after that. So he had done what he always did, what he knew best: he had hacked his way across the city, trying to find clues to what made Alec tick.

In the end, he went through Alec's Manticore file. Logan had been reluctant to do so, as he wanted to understand the man, not read dry, clinical accounts of what had been done to him. But he was stumped, and the files had been there...

After six hours of reading and cross-referencing Logan was done. He wished he hadn't.

He had known that Manticore had done monstrous, unspeakable things to the children it had created. But there were things that went beyond scientific experimentation, and crossed firmly into sadism. X5's 494, 453, 454, 601, 211...for each of the twelve escapees, there were three clones, all based in separate facilities, kept secret from Lydecker and each other. It wasn't until Renfro took control of the project that all facilities were closed down and all transgenics brought together at the Seattle base.

Most of clones had died, some in training accidents, some on missions, some from botched experiments...and fully one third of the clones had died while being interrogated, to make sure that none of them harbored the same treacherous intent of the first group.

And Alec had been the one that suffered the most. Well, the one that lived of that group. He had spent a nightmarish year in Psi Ops, being interrogated, tested and re-indoctrinated. And was considered the best success of the clones. He had been one of Manticore's best, fast tracked to Solo Ops, assassinations, until three years ago he was once more sent to Psi ops.

This time, it was more serious. The first time, it had been as a preventive measure, just as his last visit, early last year in the wake of Ben's killing spree.

But this...he had been ordered terminated, and was only spared because of a new re-indoctrination technique that had been developed needed testing. Considering that the same technique was later used very successfully on Brin, the fact that Alec came out of it with his mind in one piece was a testament to his strength of will.

But it was the reason given for his death that drew his eye. Alec had refused to carry out a termination order, and had in fact tried to save his targets. One name jumped at him from the pages, one that he found strangely familiar.

Berrisford.

It was Friday night. Pay day. Logan was sure Alec would be at Crash with his friends and coworkers, so he went there and waited.

Logan saw him enter with Sketchy, and head straight to the pool tables in the back while his friend went for a pitcher of beer. Still Logan waited, letting Alec hustle a few games before stepping up to him.

_*********************_

Alec was finally starting to enjoy himself. He had a beer, a glass of scotch, a few marks to play pool and had caught the eye of a nice redhead. Yep, life was alright.

"So, anyone else wants to play?" Alec eyed the small crowd around the table, starting to scatter as no one took the challenge. He gave Max and Original Cindy a smile, daring either of them to take him on. Max bristled at his smirk, and started to rise but Original Cindy took her arm and made her sit again. He heard O.C. scolding Max for taking the bait, telling her that she was just doing exactly what he wanted. This of course only pissed Max even more, but she let herself be pulled down and buried her pout in the beer.

Alec snorted. It still astonished him how Max could be as smart, strong and ruthless as any other X5 in one moment, and act like a sulking five year old the next. A five year old that could rip his testicles without blinking if he gave her even the shadow of an excuse, but a child nonetheless. He supposed that it was mostly because she could. She was certainly hot enough to get away with that shit.

Then he stiffened as he heard the heavy footsteps and the mechanical whine of the exo. Alec cursed as he heard his voice at his back.

"I'll play with you. If you're not scared, of course."

Alec's head snapped around to eye the older man, stunned.

'_Did he just..._'

"Dude! Are you crazy? Alec's gonna wipe the floor with you!"

Alec winced. He had underestimated Logan. Again. He had waited for his opening, and called him out in front of all his friends and acquaintances. He _had_ to play now. If only the bastard would stop smirking...

Logan threw some bills on the table and took a pool cue. Alec made a quick count, there were three hundred in neatly folded twenties on the felt. No, he couldn't walk away.

"My break, I think"

"Sure." Alec stood back as Logan lined up his shot. The older man took his time, and sunk two balls in his first shot. Alec watched as he walked around the table and proceeded to take several careful shots, sinking another four. By now they were surrounded by people watching the game, including Max and Cindy. He refused look at them, not wanting to see the glee in Max's eyes at his humiliating defeat. But he did it anyway.

He was surprised to see her looking intently at Logan. He laughed softly at the expression of adoration and sheer, naked lust on her face. The only thing that kept her from throwing him on the table, tearing his clothes off and having her wicked way with him was the virus...his smile fell at the thought. Damn, she really did love the arrogant prick. It did little for his ego to catch a similar look from Asha, on the opposite side of the table.

The crowd first cheered as he sunk his last ball, and then groaned as Logan tried a banded shot that failed to sunk the eight ball. Logan looked back at him with a grimace before stepping away from the table. Alec started sinking his balls quickly: he wanted to end the game and get away. As he lined the final, wining shot he stiffened as he felt Logan stand too close beside him, obviously trying to psyche him out. He grinned.

It would take a lot more than _that_ to get to him.

He felt Logan's breath on his ear as he leaned and mouthed the words.

"So Alec. Tell me about Rachel Berrisford."

_Fuck._

Alec missed his shot, and stood there, frozen, as Logan nonchalantly went around the table and sunk the final ball, winning the game. Even in his shock Alec could tell that this last shot was much more difficult than the one he had missed. The bastard had lost on purpose, to keep him there...

His eyes went wide with anger, but as he looked up at Logan he didn't see the smug smile he expected, didn't gloat. Instead, Logan's face was a mask of concern.

"Alec, we need to talk."

"What? Are you out-"

"Please..."

Alec hesitated. Logan really wanted to talk with him, he really seemed concerned. Alec wanted to tell him to fuck off, wanted to turn around and drown himself in booze and sex. But the damn man looked so worried, so concerned...add to that Max's face, and he knew that the best way to get get it over with quickly would be to listen to him.

He could always tell him to fuck off later.

3


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: same as before.

**Chapter Three**

The two men walked in awkward silence under the ever-present Seattle drizzle.

Alec thought Logan would drive them to his place, he certainly enjoyed running his little crime fighting crusade from his office. Of course, if he had a sweet place like the penthouse he would do the same.

But Logan just kept walking, so Alec just followed him, anxious to get it over with. After half an hour Logan led him to a small park, and settled on an old, broken down bench, and motioned him to sit down beside him.

Alec snorted. He'd had enough.

"What's next, Logan? Shall we gossip and braid each other's hair?"

Logan smiled, then turned serious again.

"Look, I wanted...I wanted to apologize for the other night."

"Hey, no problem! Apology accepted. See you around." He turned away from the bench and started walking away.

"Alec. Tell me about Rachel."

Alec whirled back, anger contorting his face. He took a few steps toward Logan before stopping, quivering with barely restrained violence. He took a few deep breaths before spoking harshly to Logan.

"Don't. You don't know what you're talking about, and you don't know shit about me!"

"See, that's the thing. I know a lot about you."

"Yeah, right!"

"Yes. I've read your file. I know everything you did, everything they made you do, everything they did to you." Logan took his fogged glasses and tried to clean them on his shirt, before looking back up at Alec. "As I said, I know everything about you, about 494. I just don't know _you_, Alec. And I want to."

"Why? Why do you care? What do you want from me?"

"Because you're here. Because you're a part of Max's life, and as much as the idea scares me, you're a part of mine, too. I want to know the man you're becoming."

"Hey, you said it yourself, I'm just a sociopath. A murderer waiting to snap and go in a killing spree!"

"Bullshit."

"Fuck! What is it you want me to say, Logan? I'm tired and wet, so can you just tell me what you want from me so I can go home and get drunk?"

Logan held his eye for a while longer, then stared down at his hands. He seemed lost in though for a while. The only sounds to be heard were the slight rain and Alec's heavy breathing.

"Everything I am today, is a consequence of my actions. I chose this life, took the risks, and paid the price. I am what I made of myself. You, as far as I can tell, are a product of what was done to you. Max too, but she's spent the last twelve years fighting Manticore and trying to remake herself. I think you're trying to make the same. And I think that's what she's afraid of."

"Max? Afraid? I think I'm not the only one you don't know, buddy."

"No, I don't think so. You see, Max is a lot like you, in many ways. But there's a lot of her that you don't know, things that you _can't_ know, because they're beyond your experience. She's gone through much, has learned many painful lessons, and has paid a heavy price for every scrap of happiness she's had in her life outside. She doesn't want you to have to go through that, too. That's why she's always so pissed at you, because you don't do as she says."

"Logan, I won't say you're completely wrong, but there's a lot more in play that you don't know about...she...look, it's complicated, alright? It has to do with Ben..."

"I know."

Alec scoffed. "Of course, how stupid of me. You know everything."

"I know that you're Ben's clone. I know that you spent a lot of time in psy ops because of him, twice. And I know that Max had to kill him."

"How...? She said she'd never told anyone, not even you, that she couldn't."

"Alec, I'm not stupid. At the time I refused to see it, she told me she had stopped Ben and I left it at that. I had...other things to consider. But I did a lot of thinking in the months she was at Manticore, and the evidence was there. And after reading Ben's autopsy report I think that Max didn't kill him to stop him, but to save him."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Because when Brin was suffering from progeria, she chose to go back to Manticore in order to live. When Tinga was captured, she chose to go back to save her son. And Lydecker's report said that when Ben was found he'd been only dead a few minutes. He had also been injured in the fight, couldn't escape them. So I think that Ben chose death before capture, and Max did it for him, just as she left Brin for Lydecker. Which is the core of her anger towards you. Not that you're Ben's clone, but that you're taking stupid risks and will end up getting yourself killed. And to her that's just failing to save Ben all over again."

"What, she just wants to be my big sister?"

"Well, yes. She IS your big sister, Alec. She's twelve years older, twelve years more mature than you. The problem is, she doesn't understand why you act like a five year old."

"Right. So now I'm a kid? You're full of shit, Cale."

"Alex, you're as reckless, impulsive and, well, amoral as any five year old. As amoral as a cat, actually. And that's OK."

"Huh...what?"

"In here, in the world outside Manticore you ARE a kid. You're six months old. You go through life acting on every impulse you have. You are a highly trained soldier, intelligent, skilled, but have the emotional maturity of a horny teenager. And that's fine, too."

"OK, you've lost me. So you're saying that you're OK with me doing things the way I am? Because I'm pretty sure you don't agree to my...ah...extracurricular activities."

"I don't. But because they're wrong, immoral and illegal, not because _you_ do them. You're supposed to learn things that way, through trial and error. You're just supposed to do them when you're younger. And Max looks at you and sees an adult, and expects you to behave like one. Her one concession is to expect you to behave as she does. She wants you to live, Alec. To be happy, to grow and thrive. She wants you to have what Ben couldn't. She wants you to be, if not her brother at least her friend. She wants you to listen to her advice, because she doesn't want you to have to learn those lessons the hard way."

Alec though about that for a moment. It did made sense; it was stupid, and a little twisted, but it did made sense.

"Wait, there's something that don't fit. If she's so eager to have me as her friend, why is she such a bitch? She never gives me _advice,_ she justbarks orders at me and expects me to follow..."

Alec understood, then. He remembered how Max had behaved around the group of X-6's she'd rescued in the forest after Manticore burned down. She was sweet and motherly one moment, and was shouting orders like a drill sergeant the next. And she was pretty much the same way with him.

"You get it now?"

"Yeah...yeah, I see what you mean. Still, it doesn't explain why she's so violent with me all the time, though. She could've said something, tried to explain it to me."

"Fuck, Alec! She assumes you understand, and just don't want to hear! She thinks you do it to spite her, that you understand and just ignore her."

"Well, there's some of that..."

"And it doesn't help that you let her infect me with the virus, and tried to kill her and Joshua. Oh, and me, of course."

"Of course."

Alec gave Logan a smile. It was small, barely a ghost of his usual smirk, but it was there. They looked at each other for a while, and then Alec sat down beside him.

"So, what can I do, then? She wants me to be all than I can be, but only if she approves?"

"Hey, I didn't say I could fathom how her mind works, just how she sees you. Because it's pretty much how I see you."

"What, you want me to be your little brother, too? Does it come with an allowance? 'Cos I'm a little short on cash right now..."

"I'd rather have my eyes scooped out with a rusty spoon. No offense."

"Hey, none taken. So, what now? Does this mean that we're like, friends? Pals? Bosom buddies? Blood brothers?"

"I wouldn't go that far. But yeah, I think friends is a good start."

"Cool. So, Logan, buddy, what do you wanna do? And do you mind if we do it somewhere dry? This rain is not good for the leather."

"Well...I'd like to hear about Rachel. If you want."

Alec sat silent for a long while, staring into the night. After a while he started talking softly, almost reverently. Logan just listened, offering a few words every now and then.

Neither man noticed the rain, while they talked amicably until sunrise.

**Finis**

4


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